11 Mar 2017: Congress wins just 7 seats in UP, fails to open account in Amethi

UP.jpg

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23 Feb 2017: BMC Election Results 2017: Final tally out as Shiv Sena wins 84, BJP 82

#bmcElection #Shivsena #BJP #Rocky

This 80s Rocky movie song is dedicated to bmc winners.

हम तुमसे मिले फिर जुदा हो गए,
देखो फिर मिल गए,
अब होके जुदा,
फिर मिले न मिले,
क्यो न ऐसा करे,
मिल जाए चलो हम सदा के लिए…🎶🎶🎶

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23 Feb 2017: BMC election results: Here’s how Shiv Sena was jolted by a BJP comeback

#bmcElection #Australia

Shivsena and Australia started the day on high note but ended badly 🙂

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22 Feb 2017: अमेठी-रायबरेली के वोटरों को सोनिया ने लिखा इमोशनल लेटर

#UPElection #PankajUdhas

चिट्ठी आई है आई है चिट्ठी आई है
चिट्ठी आई है वतन से चिट्ठी आयी है
बड़े दिनों के बाद, हम बेवतनों को याद
Janpath की मिट्टी आई है, चिट्ठी आई है …🎶🎶🎶

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21 Feb 2017: BMC civic polls 2017: Mumbai registers record turnout in Sena-BJP duel

#bmcElectionVoter #jewelThief

Voto में ऐसी बात मैं दबाके चली आई
खुल जाये वोही बात तो दुहाई है दुहाई
हाँ रे हाँ, बात जिसमें, Shivsena तो है, BJP भी है, हाय

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20 Feb 2017: Gujarat Tourism’s ‘gadha’ ad: A mocking Akhilesh has a request for megastar Amitabh

#UPElection #SattePeSatta

Imagine this dialogue in Amitabh’s voice –

“Bhaiyaa Akhilesh! Daaru peene se toh sirf liver kharaab hota hain. Par nikamme aadami ke saath ghum kar aap ka dimaag kharaab ho gaya hain.”

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19 Feb 2017: Pakistan’s anti-terror drive: 130 terrorists killed, 350 arrested

When the police kills a terrorist it’s a human rights violation.

When a terrorist kills a terrorist it’s legal.

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17 Feb 2017: Day after shrine blast, Pakistan kills 100 militants

Either Pak police are too good
OR
There are too many terrorists around in Pak waiting to be killed.

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15 Feb 2017: SC sends Sasikala to 4-year jail in DA case, dashes her CM hopes

What prompted Tamil Nadu MLAs to continue in the resort?

Unity?

No. They were not sure who is paying the resort bill after Sasikala’s arrest.

================================

14 Feb 2017: 

#bmcElection

Congress’s winning game plan for BMC elections-

..
..

..
..
Keep Rahul Gandhi away from Mumbai

=================================

9 Feb 2017: Only Dr (Manmohan) knows art of taking bath wearing a raincoat: PM Modi

#MMSInRaincoat #Devdas

हे बोला रे बोला रे बोला रे बोला
हाय बोला मन बोला मोहन बोला रे बोला

होने दो scam 2G में, कोयलेमें हो घपला ,
आंखों पर पट्टी, पहन के मैं रेनकोट ।
हो झूम के नहाऊ घूम के नहाऊ
बोला रे बोला रे बोला रे बोला….🎶🎶🎶

========================

7 Feb 2017: Hardik Patel will be face of Shiv Sena poll campaign in Gujarat: Uddhav Thackeray

#HardikinMumbai

म्यानातुनि उसळे तरवारीची पात
वेडात मराठे वीर दौडले सात
पण आता लागते हार्दिक पटेलची साथ !
———————–

विसरूनी मुंबईच्या रस्त्यावरील भगदाडे
खाण्यासी ढोकळा अन् फाफडे
मराठी पाउल पडते पुढे !
—————

एक तुतारी द्या मज आणुनी
फुंकीन जी मी स्वप्राणाने
दिल्ली तख्ताशी टक्कर देईन
पाटीदारांच्या आरक्षणाने |

जय महाराष्ट्र !!!

===============

5 Feb 2017: Set to be Tamil Nadu CM, ’emotional’ Sasikala, says ‘I will fulfill dreams of Amma fully’

#ChinnammaToBeCM

Amma Cycle of TN

CM: Amma

Amma goes to jail.
CM: YesAmma

Amma returns from jail. YesAmma resigns.
CM: Amma

Amma dies.
CM: YesAmma

Chinnamma joins. YesAmma resigns.
CM: Chinnamma

Chinnamma goes to jail.
CM: YesChinnamma

Chinnamma returns from jail. YesChinnamma resigns.
CM: Chinnamma

and so on …

===============

#TareZameenPar

1.jpg

===============

16 Jan 2017: Samajwadi Party: Akhilesh Yadav Gets to Ride ‘Cycle’, Mulayam Loses out

#MulayamVsAkhilesh #QayamatSeQayamatTak

Akhilesh:
पापा कहते हैं बड़ा नाम करेगा
बेटा हमारा ऐसा काम करेगा

Mulayam:
मगर ये तो, कोई ना जाने
के मेरी साइकिल, है कहाँ🎶🎶🎶

===============

6 Nov 2016: Delhi smog: Schools shut, construction stopped, government advises work from home

Poor visibility in Delhi due to fog led to poor decision making in various political parties in Delhi.

AAP announced 1 cr compensation to alleged OROP suicide victim. Kejriwal could not see the zeroes he was adding in the compensation form.

BJP revoked one day ban on NDTV. Ministry could not see which check box they were ticking while reviewing the ban.

Congress finalised Rahul as the party president. CWC attendees could not see any other name on the nomination form.

===============

1 Nov 2016: Arnab Goswami resigns as Editor-in Chief of Times Now

Meanwhile Arnab enters the HR cabin of ‘Times now’ for his exit interview.

HR: Arnab..

Arnab: I know my name. You don’t have to tell me that. Everyone knows my name. And who are you? HR? Just a white collar lout! Scaring people?

HR (trying to pacify Arnab): no.. not like that. .

Arnab: other employees may be scared of you. I’m not. I’m not afraid of you. You answer my question. Who do you think you are?

HR (fumbles): me…

Arnab: you can’t answer a simple question ! Nation wants to know! Company wants to know! Learn something from the Army. They are protecting you. That’s why you are here.

(HR manager takes a cheque from the drawer and hands it over to Arnab)

Arnab: One billion dollar ! Unbelievable! (He is looking at the cheque )

HR: No. It’s not for you. Management asked me to show it to you, so that you will allow me to speak for a minute. Here are the exit documents. Please fill them up and submit at the reception while leaving.

===============

22 Oct 16

#banpakartist

Indian government declared tax free concession to movie ‘Paki-ja’

Pakistan government retaliated by providing tax free concession to series ‘India-na jones’

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21 Oct 16 ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’ screening row: MNS activists protest outside Mumbai theatre

A lady complaining in a kitty party about her Daughter-in- law

Ae D-i-l hain mushkil.

===============

5 Oct 16 Vikram Bhatt and Hansal Mehta come out in support of Pakistani actors

What Salman and other Pak artist supporters haven’t realised is

“Art and culture get nurtured in a peaceful environment.
Art and culture, by themselves do not create peaceful environment. “

===============

3 Oct 16 Salman Khan backs Pakistani actors, says they are artists not terrorists

Bajarangi Bhaijan – 2 being released where audience takes Salman to Pakistan.

The movie dialogue is very popular-
हम केजरीवाल के भक्त हैं। मर जाएँगे पर उटपटांग बाते करते रहेंगे ।

===============

30 Sep 16 

5 stages of Modi haters’ reactions on surgical strike.

On hearing the news – unbelievable, we could do it!

Day 2 – maza aaya. Saala ghusake maara

Day 3 – oh Modi is getting credit for it?

Day 4 – did we actually cross LOC? There was no live coverage on tv. I think we also crossed LOC in past. 🤔

Day 5 – I’m telling you, it’s all vote bank politics for UP elections.

===============

29 Sep 16 Surgical strike was sealed, delivered, kept under wraps until CCS meeting

फेंकू की कहानी

एक गांव में एक लड़का रहता था । वो काफी कुछ करने की बाते करता था । लोग उस पर हंसते थे । उसे फेंकू के नाम से चिढ़ाते थे । उसका पड़ोसी भी उसे तंग करता था ।

एक दिन उसने कुछ करने की ठान ली । उसने एक पत्थर उठाकर पड़ोसीयो पर फेंका । पत्थर के फेंकने से दो बातें हुई । पड़ोसी को सबक मिला और लोगों ने उसे फेंकू कहना बंद किया । लोग कहते है कि 1971 के बाद पहली बार किसी ने ऐसा पत्थर फेंका है ।

===============

27 Sep 16

5 stages of Bhakta’s life…

Year 1: bh-A-kta – bilnd follower

Year 2: bh-E-kta – some realization

Year 3: bh-I-kta – sir, please do something now

Year 4: bh-O-kta – bhow bhow

Year 5: bh-U-kta – bhugato ab

Which stage are you at?

Follow the leader. ..but not blindly.

===============

10 Sep 16  ‘Inhumanity and heartbreak’ in Kashmir must stop: Malala Yousafzai asks for UN intervention

#Malala #Kashmir

Remake of Kajol’s Sapney movie song of 90s

इक Pakistan में रहती थी इक मैना
पूछती है London से, क्या है कहना
Kashmir में UN चाहिये क्या
Pak में Cricket खेलते है क्या

कभी पूछे तो मेरा जवाब यही होगा
Ma ला ला ला, Ma ला ला ला
Visit Pakistan once, Ma ला ला ला ला
ओह हो Ma ला ला ला, Ma ला ला ला
Visit Pakistan once, Ma ला ला ला ला

===============

4 Sep 16

कौन कहता है कि आरक्षण नहीं होना चाहिए ?

आरक्षण निहायत जरूरी हैं इस देश की तरक्की के लिए ।

हर सड़क पर होनी चाहिए एक लेन, जो केवल  बसेस के लिए आरक्षित हो।

हर मार्ग पर होनी चाहिए फुटपाथ, जो केवल पादचारीयों के लिए आरक्षित हो।

हर छोटी सीढ़ी के साथ होनी चाहिए रैंप, जो केवल  विकलांगो के लिए आरक्षित हो।

हर नगर में होनी चाहिए खुली जगह, जो केवल नागरिकों के लिए आरक्षित हो।

हर संस्था में होनी चाहिए कुछ सीट्स, जो केवल गरीब विद्यार्थीयों के लिए आरक्षित हो।

हर चुनाव में होनी चाहिए नामांकन, जो केवल समाज कार्य करने वालो के लिए आरक्षित हो।

आरक्षण निहायत जरूरी हैं।

===============

10 Aug 16 Selfies at Rio tweet: Shobhaa De mocks Indian Olympians, gets trolled

#ShobhaOnASelfieDey

दीपाने छलांग लगायी, Pradunova के कदम पडे।
सबकी सांसे रूकी हुई थी, But Shobha was on a Selfie Dey.

आखरी पलमें जर्मनीसे हारे, अर्जेंटीना पर टूट पडे।
हॉकी में उठी उमंगकी लहर, But Shobha was on a Selfie Dey.

जानकी बाजी लगाये खिलाडी, सीमा पर सैनिक है खडे।
झूठी शान मानव अधिकारोंकी रक्षक, Shobha is on a Selfie Dey.

सहायता के लिये खेलोंकी, इन Page 3 सितारोंको ना छेडें।
दिखेंगे सबके ‘खाली हाथ’, And Shobha would be on a Selfie Dey.

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